Since the new Soul Calibur game takes place 17 years after the last one, I got to thinking that many of the characters aren’t going to look that great 17 years in the future. Now some things are already obvious: Voldo isn’t something you ever want to see in a nightmare, Tira resembles a strung out hooker who’s giving hand jobs for meth, Setsuka deserves to get her own umbrella shoved down her throat and nobody plain gives a shit about Lizardman, but of the remaining characters, who’s gonna be able to hold up and still kick ass 17 years later? Some of these characters are immortal (You keep on chuggin’ Nightmare, Cervantes and apparently Ivy – hey, they needed at least one familiar face to dress like a desperate stripper), but many more aren’t. So that’s why I thought about whose pretty face wasn’t going to be turning too many heads almost two decades after their last battle. This is my list:
The Countdown – 8.18.2011
18 Aug
Honestly I had a little help with this week’s news, because these last several weeks have not had very inspiring stories. But this week is a little better.
1. People in Japan don’t get Halo and it’s 4,000 sequels apparently.
2. All lawsuits should be settled this way.
3. Zombies + Chick in skanky cheerleading outfit = something boys will flock to play I’m sure. See how much fan service you can spot in the first 3 seconds of the trailer!
4. Are you finishing your video games? According to this article you’re not. I guess I’m in the minority, because I finish about 95% of the games I start. Over the last few years, anyway. And let’s not start counting the games I haven’t started yet. I promise I will get to that last Kirby game before the next one comes out.
5. Also, gamers are old now.
6. pS3 price drop! …Again.
7. No Gamecube support in new, “smaller” Wii. Think it has Wii envy of the bigger Wii’s?
8. VIDEO: Sometimes fast, isn’t fast enough.
9. 10 Sexiest Guys & Girls in video game history. It’s a decent list, contains my #1 pick, but not as number #1. I’ll give the number one dude points for the voice, but I’m not sure if he’s really sexy.
The Countdown – 7.6.11
6 Jul
1. First, if you haven’t yet seen IGN’s list of Top 100 video game villains, check it out. There will be a quiz.
2. That “erotic” puzzle game, Catherine, will have a demo available next week. I think pleasing a woman is enough of a puzzle for men as it is. They don’t need this.
3. This is so sexist it’s making my head explode. Stay in Japan, for the love of god.
4. The Playstation Pass is real, so think twice before buying a used game if you want to play online in the near future. Good thing I hate human interaction, and don’t care.
5. The number of times I screamed “WHAT?!?!?!” at my computer screen when I saw this nonsense about a Final Fantasy rhythm game. I love Final Fantasy. I love the music. But no. Just no. THIS IS WHY YOU ARE LOSING PROFITS, SQUARE ENIX! Next year they’ll be announcing the damn Nintendogs like game they’re making featuring chocobos, cactaurs and mogs – OH GOD WHAT DID I JUST DO?!
6. Pokemon on your phone? Sorry, only in Japan. Of course.
7. The number of years it took L.A. Noire to come out, apparently because working at Team Bondi was like working on a slave ship, only with fewer breaks.
8. Consequently, Rockstar will not release their next game. Why, Universe?! WHHHHHHHYYYY?! Why must the most interesting, unique game in years have to happen this way?!
9. The level of upset I was when I found out I didn’t making the Platinum prize in Club Nintendo this year. I hang my head in dork shame.
10. And I leave you with this gem: if Pixar characters were in Kingdom Hearts.
[MDP] 5 Reasons You Should Play 5 DS Games Before You Dump Your DS for a 3DS
8 Mar
Everybody’s all excited about Nintendo’s new system, but there’s still plenty on the old one you might have missed. I picked 5 of my favorites.
Check out the article @ The Modern Day Pirates!
Sephiroth's Tutu 